Dating in a small town
But most people talk about Tinder, Grindr, Ok Cupid, Match.com, and others in the context of a city, with endless choice, infinite swipes. In Boston, before Greg, I had turned to online dating, using Ok Cupid, and it basically worked. It seemed oddly closer to the experience of meeting someone in, say, a bar–all context beyond gut feeling and fast-track aesthetics removed–despite the fact that I was at home in sweatpants on my couch.I went on some good dates, some bad dates, a whole lot in between. In Hudson, as a recently single 31-year-old woman, I couldn’t bring myself to type Ok Cupid’s address into my browser. On weekend nights he tended bar at the popular watering hole a few blocks from my apartment. When I encountered the picture of someone I knew from town, however, I freaked out and hastily deleted the entire app from my phone, only to download it again the following day. It didn’t take long before I ran out of men on Tinder. But upstate Tinder was different than city Tinder and Hudson was not a place teeming with lawyers and doctors and Ph Ds in chemistry. On one of my last nights in Hudson, before I moved back to Boston for another job, I went to the bar with some friends.But now that I've temporarily moved back to my hometown, I'm looking back on love in the city with the faintest of rose-colored glasses.Small-town dating is presenting a whole slew of new challenges, such as: Overcoming laziness: In New York, I hated even dating out of borough.
Online dating has offered us the promise of solving the supply-and-demand problem, making it more efficient to match those looking with those available. I downloaded the app onto my phone on a Wednesday night, and with a glass of wine in one hand, I spent an hour swiping left and right with the other, wholeheartedly enjoying the ping of adrenaline when I got a match.
Sounds like a problem for both genders, for well-noted reasons (prevalence of early marriage and childbirth, insular attitudes, lack of economic opportunity).
Online dating for rural and small-town settings sounds like a clever idea in principle, but if a potential mate is difficult to find in real life, what would motivate him/her to advertise online?
During my seven years living in New York City I reached the same conclusion as pretty much every other city girl I ever consulted on the subject: Dating in NYC is the WORST.
The dating scene is as competitive as the real estate market (if you aren't familiar, I'd describe both as just shy of a bloodbath).